Reflections

I Wonder

I wonder what it was like to live here when these buildings were first built. How big were these trees? Were the streets filled with tourists like they are now? Were people kind to each other?

The last stone was put in place in the year 1898. To the left of this tree is the short-cut I take when walking through the grounds on my way downtown. It is one of those kinds of short-cuts that saves me only about 30 seconds, but helps me to avoid the crowded sidewalks.

Tourists used to fill the streets and the grounds around this building. Slowly, after pandemic lockdowns and travel restrictions have lifted, the tourists are finding their way back. Eight years ago the time it took me to walk from downtown home again doubled during the summer, as I would stop and wait for people to take photos in front of all the tourist attractions. They paid thousands of dollars to see these places while I walked past daily, almost ignoring the beauty. The second year I would walk around the photo-takers, hoping to not get in their way. The third year I tired of accommodating everyone, and just kept walking (mostly politely!) but no longer concerned that I might have photo-bombed any of their bragging rights.

I have enjoyed the relative peace and quiet of the past couple of years and I know it is selfish to wish for another reason for discouraging tourism. When I start to travel again, I will be mindful of how I interrupt the environment of the host city or country.

Spider

Yesterday I went for a walk. I used to walk every single day. I used to have a dog. When my life got far too busy this past year, and especially this spring, I stopped going for walks. Now that I have time, I haven’t felt the energy to get out of the house more than absolutely necessary, but with gas prices rising continually I have decided to walk whenever errands take me within 1 or 2 kilometres from home.

Yesterday I was walking past a property that I am quite familiar with and saw this strange creature/machine. A worker was standing close by, monitoring its every move. Then I noticed that this young man was also discretely handling a remote control.

Am I the only person who does not know about this possibility of a remote control lawn mower?

How many other things have I missed while hibernating at home, trying to avoid crowds?

Empathy

Saturday evening I was doing a bit of weeding out in the backyard. When I glanced up I saw this curious hen about 2 feet from my face. The neighbours sometimes let a few of them roam through their backyard, eating weeds and bugs. Once in a while the hens venture into my area and peck at the beautiful leaves of the tasty hostas.

Shortly after I moved to this place the fence between our yards was so rotten it needed to be taken down. Because it was hidden from most of the strata units, no funding was approved to rebuild the fence. More important issues were given priority. The neighbours are a young family struggling to get through each day and month. At that time I didn’t know them at all, and was annoyed at the mess of their backyard which I had to look at every time I went outside.

Then I started teaching piano to their children. I got to know the mother quite well; the father is quiet, shy and distant yet very quick to help in an emergency. The young boy was absolutely terrified of Toffee when he started lessons, and I had to put Toffee in his crate during the lesson…gradually introducing the two of them. It was a true breakthrough the first time he reached to pet Toffee, and eventually begged to be able to take him out on walks! His younger sister is very bright and eager to learn whatever I present to her.

The rhododendrons that were transplanted to create more of a “hedge” between our yards are fuller now and act as a bit of a screen. I have grown to appreciate the mess of their yard which attracts so much wildlife.

No longer am I annoyed at the way they keep their yard. I no longer judge them for what goes on, because they are friends and very much a part of my life. I quickly come to their defence when any of the other strata members start to criticize. Empathy and understanding have totally changed how I view the yard next door.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
Mother Teresa

Things to look forward to

For two years now I have been a part of “The Isolation Journals” community. We are sent regular prompts to encourage creativity, meet monthly when available on the Hatch, for an hour of journaling, or being otherwise creative, and following Suleika’s journey through illness and healing.

Sometimes the prompts don’t help, and I can’t find anything in my experience to write about, and sometimes the prompts bring up such deep emotions within me that I can’t write.

Today’s prompt is to “make a list of things to look forward to. Include big things if you’d like, but also the small everyday things that buoy your spirits, make you laugh, make you feel alive.” That’s something I can do.

Calls from family
- random FaceTime calls from my granddaughter because she has located her mother’s phone and wants to say hi to “gramma”. She likes to boop my nose with her finger, kiss my image on the phone, and yesterday bent toward it to smell the roses in my bouquet
- calls from my son just to see how I’m doing
- calls from my youngest to check in on me, talk about life in general, and update me on her plans
new photos and videos of my grandchildren
that first cup of coffee in the morning
birds chirping when I open the patio door to let in some fresh air
randomly looking at my phone to find it is 8:23….the minute my first child was born.
going for a drive. Anywhere. Just driving
visits from the neighbourhood cats, raccoons and squirrels, and sometimes one of the hens from next door
children’s choir rehearsals, and the growth I am privileged to watch and facilitate
free time
daffodils in the spring
watching dolphins and orcas from the ferry
solitary walks

That is just the beginning. There are so many things to look forward to.

Receiving gifts

Yesterday morning these flowers were delivered to my door. Every month I receive a bouquet — a birthday gift from my children that lasts all year. Two years to be exact!

Each month I look forward to receiving a bouquet, eager to be reminded of the love of family, and excited to see what the florist has chosen to display.

This month they cut back on the greens (yay!!) to showcase the beautiful shades of pink roses, peonies and Gerbera daisy. Additional flowers hiding in the background are lilies and chrysanthemums.

It took me a while to really appreciate this on-going gift that started almost 2 years ago. I hadn’t really done anything to deserve the attention except grown older, and since the flowers fade and die within two or three weeks it hardly seemed worth it. I am looking at things differently now, and am starting to see the value in accepting kindness and the thoughtfulness of my children.

Predictions

Yesterday I took this photo of a mini-excavator in front of the construction a few houses away. I have been on the look-out for things that would interest my grandsons. They love trucks of all sorts, farm equipment and anything similar to tractors. On a previous visit to their home I remember having to schedule our day around the garbage pick-up. My oldest grandson, then not quite 2 years old, was fascinated by the garbage truck, and needed to go outside to wave at the worker!

Their mother at a very young age was fascinated by anything to do with music, especially cellos, which ended up defining her career. I wonder how often what young children are intrigued by is a prediction of their life work. If that is the case, my granddaughter will be either a ballerina or orchestra conductor, or gardener, or reader of many books! And at least one of my grandsons will drive a garbage truck or perhaps a tractor or emergency vehicle. Or maybe he will follow in his father’s footsteps and fall in love with race cars.

It’s not always the case, but I know it frequently happens. After all, my daughter who thrived on discussing history and politics has a masters in political studies; the other who loved money (cash registers) and wanted to be a cashier worked at a bank for years. My son who loved to eat out at fancy restaurants ever since he was very young (didn’t always get his way!) has owned a restaurant for many years.

I am a strong believer of letting children explore what interests them. As parents we succeed when we open up possibilities to our children, and allow them to choose the activities that they enjoy the most. Whatever they gravitate towards might be a prediction of which path they choose in the future.

Quiet moments

One of the best ways to spend time with my children is to enjoy a quiet cup of coffee together. My “coffee breaks” began in college when I would sneak away to the cafeteria, sitting at a small quiet table enjoying a few moments of peace, with my cup of ordinary coffee and granola bar.

Over the years, before my children were old enough to enjoy quiet cups of coffee, it would be a way to escape the chaos for a few moments between lessons or appointments.

Now I reserve those quiet moments for occasions when I have time to enjoy spending time with one or more of my children. We don’t even have to say much to each other — just experience the escape from our busy lives, enjoying perfection.

Dreaming of daffodils

Often I receive cards and artwork from students. Sometimes it’s a creative expression from a school assignment, or colouring that they did while waiting for their lesson, or even a hand-crafted card of thanks.

Last week the mother of two of my students surprised me with artwork of her own. She has recently taken up painting with water-colours. With a full-time job, new blended family and extremely busy children, I have no idea where she can find the time. She asked me what my favourite flower was, and naturally I assumed it was preparation for a year-end bouquet or something…but this was unexpected.

In my quest to slow down my life, and find time for myself and search out new creative activities to help me renew my energy, I had considered drawing or painting. I have a sketch pad that I received about 20 years ago, and have now used up 2 whole pages — and that was sketching I did about 15 years ago. It would be nice to fill more pages with my own artwork. Someday.

Over the years I have moved many times, earlier with my children, and later on my own. It seems that October has been the month that most of my moves have taken place. One of the first things we did in each new place was plant daffodil bulbs. During the winter they are almost forgotten, until early spring when we see the tips of the leaves poking up through the dirt. Anticipating the new flowers in the spring gives me hope each year that life gets better.

Heirloom dollhouse

More than 80 years ago my grandfather built this dollhouse for my mother. Over the years many young children have taken turns looking after this house — rearranging furniture, playing make-believe, dreaming.

Each door opens to reveal a different room, with windows, curtains, rugs, furniture. There is a miniature grand piano in the living room, a bed and dresser in the master bedroom, toys in the nursery and pots and pans in the kitchen. My favourite is the old fashioned sturdy metal stove and oven.

This dollhouse was in our home when I was a child, although I couldn’t tell you how much time I actually spent playing with it. My mom would redesign the curtains, bedsheets and other items when she had time. Now that I am a grandmother, it is natural that I would be a temporary keeper of the house.

Yesterday my electronic organ was picked up by the movers, and taken to a colleagues home, which gave me space to display the heirloom. I am excited to watch the reaction of my granddaughter, and my students when they discover the dollhouse!

More visitors

My back patio was a busy place yesterday. This masked bandit was my first visitor. Later in the morning Scamp stopped by for some water, and to stare in at me. I wonder what he is so curious about.

While I was teaching in the afternoon, I noticed a squirrel on the patio. I tried to scare it away. The squirrels that live around me are constantly digging up my potted plants to bury the peanuts which some of the neighbours leave out. I try to keep the squirrels away, but this one was not willing to leave. It came right up to the screen door and looked very much like it wanted to come in.

Last night I heard noises on the patio. When I rushed down to check it out, the water dish was full of dirt (from dirty paws or jaws) and my watering can was overturned. I suppose the raccoon came back for more.

Tomorrow morning a friend from Montreal is coming over for breakfast. He wanted me to meet his fiancé while they are here for a very short vacation. It has been about a year since I have entertained friends in my home. I have had visitors stop by for outdoor visits, but sitting around the breakfast table together with people outside my regular bubble (i.e. students and family) is causing some excessive angst.

I am not ready for life to return to the pre-pandemic normal. We are not yet post-pandemic, and I still feel so much safer masked when near others. Tomorrow will be one step to help me return. It’s a bit like that “Hokey Pokey” song…you put your right foot in…