Random reflections on life.
As I walked around the paths of this garden, and commented to one of the gardeners that the flowers are so beautiful, she pointed out this inconspicuous frog hiding behind a blade of grass.
The frog didn’t move or twitch at all. I’m sure it was convinced that no predator could see it…inconspicuous and almost invisible.
Sometimes I wish I could be that frog.
We were up early yesterday—more eager than ever to get on the road. I had booked a hotel in a small town without looking carefully at the reviews online. Normally we like hotels that look and smell clean, have clear running water in the taps and clean bed sheets. That was not the case!
The early morning start allowed us to have a very relaxed day. We stopped at a lovely coffee shop for breakfast, went for a walk in a beach resort town, bought several novels at a 2nd-hand bookstore and arrived in the city before rush hour.
And from now on every hotel will feel like a castle in comparison!
On our drive to the East coast we have set distance goals for each day. This photo was taken looking out over Vermilion Lakes near Banff.
Most of our other photos are taken from the car as we are covering about 900 km a day, and so far have lost one hour per day due to driving through time zones.
This has been an absolutely wonderful trip so far, with amazing scenery and fascinating skies. In the prairies the sky touches the flat horizon and you can see little storms brewing far in the distance.
The landscape changes with each hour, from the majestic Rocky Mountains, through Rolly hills, miles and miles of bright yellow fields of canola, and now the seemingly endless number of tiny lakes and trees of northern Ontario.
I looking forward to seeing more of this country.
Exactly one year ago I said goodbye to Toffee. He was my companion and friend for just over 11 years.
Toffee loved road trips. He loved walks. He was excited if anyone came to visit, and he would turn in circles when offered vegetables. My days are quieter now. I get up when I’m ready to get up…still just as early as when Toffee would wake me. He always knew (or hoped) that there was an exciting day ahead.
Here are some of the “pets” that have been trying to replace Toffee, but I have not let any of them settle into the house:
On one of our first international trips together my father and I were headed to Ireland to spend 3 weeks driving around the island, exploring as much as we could. To get there we landed at Heathrow, and transferred to a smaller airplane which would take us to Dublin.
I remember the flight being delayed by about 30 minutes, but that wasn’t much of an issue, except that we were very tired. As we boarded the flight we noticed people passing a whisper toward the back of the line, much like the “telephone game” that is used to demonstrate to young people that rumours and whispers often change as they are passed around.
The whisper “Nelson Mandela is on the plane” did not change in meaning. It was true!! As we boarded, Nelson Mandela, seated comfortably in the business class surrounded by his security people, personally greeted every passenger as though each of us was important. It was an experience that I will not be forgetting!
Mandela was on his way to officially open the 2003 Special Olympics World Summer Games in Dublin. As dad and I travelled around Ireland, we frequently saw parade and signs indicating those games.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
Nelson Mandela (from “Mandela” Documentary, 1994)
Chance encounters often change the way we observe things. They change the way we absorb and respond to the world around us.
Continuing on from yesterday…I recall taking this photo in order to show the simple yet powerful message on the “remember to breathe” button. Now that I look at it again after over two years I am reminded of the story of how I came upon the dining table.
I waited several months before starting to look for a new dining table. Because my new home was about half the size of the one I left I knew that I would need to sell or give away much of what I owned, including dining room and living room furniture.
In my new home needed a dining set that was unique, functional and practical. I found this table made of reclaimed railway ties from Ireland and loved it immediately. It came with four chairs, and I chose two black and two burgundy. The salesman kept asking me if I was sure! There were two burgundy available, and many black chairs, but I liked the mix rather than all black. All black is too predictable.
I have always loved wooden objects — furniture, fruit bowls, real wood bookshelves rather than particle board. I remember large shiny tables in Thailand made from a single portion of teak trees, polished with thick coats of varnish. My table has knots and holes and lumps and dips. It is so authentic and beautiful.
Reclaimed wood allows the wood that has served its purpose but is no longer useful or strong enough to continue in that purpose, to be given a new life and a new purpose. I think you can see where I am going with that….
I could write about many different ideas from this one photo. Today I’ll talk about the “remember to breathe” button.
Breathing happens all the time, but how often do we really notice how we are breathing. Here are some instances where I have noticed that people stop breathing:
Seriously, those times are when we need to be aware of our breathing, and do it properly. Several years ago when I started taking voice lessons, I found deep breaths were a challenge. I often became light-headed, and even passed out in the middle of a song during a recital.
That “remember to breathe” button, a gift from another choir director, is a constant reminder to keep breathing, especially in instances where I forget. I no longer have the same difficulty breathing while singing, but I do notice often that I have forgotten to control how I breathe in instances where it would make a difference.
Remember to breathe…deeply…down to your toes…
My maternal grandma died in 1996 just short of her 101st birthday. She was a person I idolized. I wanted to be just like her, but I have lost track of that desire.
My grandma was a very positive person, always seeing the silver lining even in the worst situations in her life. She saw the best in people, and therefore brought out the best in people.
I loved travelling and spending time with grandma. I remember one Greyhound bus trip we took together to Vancouver. I have know idea why we were travelling, who we needed to visit, or how we got home again but I do remember feeling very special to be on this great adventure with my grandma! She brought along a bag of candy, and we observed people. She told me that she would sometimes take the bus to the mall and sit at the mall, watching people and wondering what was going on in their lives. She was genuinely curious and non-judgemental. Most of the time…..
Judgement was reserved for when it matter, for example the day when I needed some validation and encouragement. She told me “never mind your mother — she is terribly old-fashioned” when I announced that I was going to move to Thailand to marry the person I loved. Although she was judging my mother (!) I knew that she was happy for me.
Grandma had an impressive sense of adventure and wrote many letters to me while I was living overseas. She spoke of her dream of travelling, but there were always reasons beyond her control that kept her from realizing those dreams. But she always encouraged us to follow our dreams and not to wait until the perfect time to start living.
Now that I am grandmother, am I demonstrating a positive outlook on life? Am I using my example to help my grandchildren see the best in others, and to find the silver lining in every situation. I think I have a lot of work to do.
I noticed these on my neighbour’s back steps the other morning. Cats stop by at my back patio every day, but I didn’t realize that they also explored my neighbour’s balcony. Evidence of the cat or cats will disappear once the sun comes up and melts away the dew.
For many years I lived in places where snow covered the ground during the winter. In the snow it is easy to find paw prints of many kinds — dogs who had to turn the snow yellow, cats meandering, raccoons cutting straight lines to mark an X across the backyard, deer looking for any sign of greenery — and these prints often lasted a day or two until the snow melted, or more fell to cover up the evidence.
When Toffee died I ordered his paw print in plaster as a keep-sake. It helped soothe the pain, and made me feel slightly less guilty. Making the decision to let him go quickly in order to avoid days of having him suffer alone was a decision wracked with guilt. I didn’t want to play God and decide the exact time that my little angel was going to die.
What kinds of prints will I leave behind? The kind that will disappear at sunrise, those that last a bit longer in the snow, or prints in plaster that can last forever.
Also known as Sicilian Honey Garlic, Allium Siculum, Mediterranean Bells, and more, these flowers are easy to grow, undemanding and beautiful.
Look at the flowers carefully. Some are open, some are opening and some are still closed. Some are looking forward, others still looking at the ground trying to hide behind the more confident bells.
The singers in my choirs are so similar. Some are confident and want to open up wide to the world, to have their voice heard and sing out strong. On the other end of the spectrum we have youth who have lost their confidence as they move from childhood to adolescence, where they are happy to hide behind the mask, and not have their own voice stand out.
Each singer is in a different place in their development. I have watched the shy kids gradually gain confidence and grow into leaders who lead by example. At the same time I have seen the toll that the pandemic and the many months behind the Zoom screen have taken on these young people. The younger, pre-adolescent singers seem to be much more resilient and mostly sing out with confidence. The singers in the teen group are far more fragile, and some have lost the confidence they had gained before the pandemic.
This photo reminds me that I can’t force each singer to blossom at the same rate, but with patience they will each find their own voice.
Reflections 