Facing Fears: Lessons from Lacy

I spent the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve at my son’s place. He cooked for me, we watched movies, and we took his two dogs on long walks. Then I stayed with Lacy while he spent a few days with Gia out of town.

Lacy is afraid of everything; leaves rustling and crackling when stepped upon, cars warming up in driveways, children skating on an iced-over pond, random signs, posts, garbage bins, and of course other dogs and people. While walking with her I learned to watch for these dangers and steer her around them.

She loves going out for walks, although I’m sure she is hoping that eventually I will learn to trust her enough to let her off-leash. After all, she does get to chase balls off-leash when my son takes her out. That would be easier if I could get her into my car — but my car is a very unfamiliar space to Lacy, and no amount of coaxing will get her to climb in.

I also have fears. I am afraid of big dogs that bark, certain men with evil auras (yes, I am full of judgement when it comes to men), crowds, shopping malls in the middle of the afternoon, airports, illness.

They say that exposure therapy can help, but I know that it won’t help Lacy become less fearful. She is so much better when her big sister is with her, or when she is gently encouraged by my son.

So, maybe facing our fears should be less about being exposed to things we fear, and more about moving on with gentle, loving support.