toffeereflection

Mimosa

I bought a plant. It’s very much like me. When the leaflets are touched they fold inward; when the branches are touched they droop. It is hypersensitive to touch and movement. This past Sunday afternoon two young men came to the house to rehearse for an upcoming concert. It was a wonderful afternoon, with hardContinue reading “Mimosa”

In memoriam

Fifteen years ago yesterday I married a man who loved me more than I could ever ask for. He had total trust in me, and loved me unconditionally. I doubt if that opportunity would ever come again. At his memorial service his best friend quoted in the eulogy: ‘Tis better to have loved and lostContinue reading “In memoriam”

Blank pages

This morning I stayed home to participate in The Hatch, a monthly gathering of over 200 people who are connected through their interest in journalling. Many people, like the founder, Suleika Jaouad struggle with chronic illness; others have joined (as I did) shortly after its start during the Covid shutdown. Today I chose to writeContinue reading “Blank pages”

Stand-off

Early Monday morning I sat in my living room watching the sun rise, and was witness to a scene straight out of National Geographic! The doe and the coyote (so large I at first thought it must be a wolf) were engaged in some sort of stand-off. Even though there is a strict rule inContinue reading “Stand-off”

Boundaries vs Walls

Many epiphanies happen in the mornings, either while gardening or in the shower. Yesterday, while in the shower, I came to the realization that I have created a boundary-monster. My boundaries involving a relationship are so solid and inflexible that they have become high walls. I started to search articles and videos that explained theContinue reading “Boundaries vs Walls”

Loneliness

Yesterday I came to the realization that I have no one I can talk to who can—or will—listen. Dad is gone. Mom can no longer remember, understand or follow a conversation. My siblings tend to judge, or tell me how I should live my life. My children all have huge problems that they are dealingContinue reading “Loneliness”

Space

There are mornings where I can’t sleep in past 5:00 a.m. In fact, most mornings these days I am on my 2nd cup of coffee before the sun rises. The photo above was taken on a particularly smoky morning last week. The wildfires burning in the north sent the smoke our way and helped createContinue reading “Space”

Waiting

We are both waiting. Gia is waiting for her owner, true love, master, food-giver, ball-thrower and only person in her world, to return and sit beside her. I’m waiting for my son to join me for pizza and a drink. (Yes, he is the same person for whom Gia is waiting, although he is notContinue reading “Waiting”

Home again

A week ago I was on my way home once again. I had decided to spend a week with my granddaughters in Saskatchewan, just a 2-day drive from here. When you do the math, 8 days away with 2 days driving each way, means there are only 4 full days to visit. And the 4thContinue reading “Home again”

Home

I was sad to be leaving after such a short visit. On my last two days we drove to see the sights and spent time talking, exploring and planning. Flight delays on the way home to B.C. resulted in an unexpected overnight stay in Toronto, giving me more time to think before returning home. TimeContinue reading “Home”