Empathy

Saturday evening I was doing a bit of weeding out in the backyard. When I glanced up I saw this curious hen about 2 feet from my face. The neighbours sometimes let a few of them roam through their backyard, eating weeds and bugs. Once in a while the hens venture into my area and peck at the beautiful leaves of the tasty hostas.

Shortly after I moved to this place the fence between our yards was so rotten it needed to be taken down. Because it was hidden from most of the strata units, no funding was approved to rebuild the fence. More important issues were given priority. The neighbours are a young family struggling to get through each day and month. At that time I didn’t know them at all, and was annoyed at the mess of their backyard which I had to look at every time I went outside.

Then I started teaching piano to their children. I got to know the mother quite well; the father is quiet, shy and distant yet very quick to help in an emergency. The young boy was absolutely terrified of Toffee when he started lessons, and I had to put Toffee in his crate during the lesson…gradually introducing the two of them. It was a true breakthrough the first time he reached to pet Toffee, and eventually begged to be able to take him out on walks! His younger sister is very bright and eager to learn whatever I present to her.

The rhododendrons that were transplanted to create more of a “hedge” between our yards are fuller now and act as a bit of a screen. I have grown to appreciate the mess of their yard which attracts so much wildlife.

No longer am I annoyed at the way they keep their yard. I no longer judge them for what goes on, because they are friends and very much a part of my life. I quickly come to their defence when any of the other strata members start to criticize. Empathy and understanding have totally changed how I view the yard next door.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

Mother Teresa