As I unlocked and entered my early morning teaching room, my first thought was how much this circle of chairs looked like a group hug, or a circle of friends holding hands. The silent room was warmed by sunlight shining through the stained glass windows. Each circle of chairs, including some groups of 4 identical chairs surrounding card tables, reminded me of the “old days”. Days when after worship services or concerts friends and strangers would mingle with cups of tea or coffee in their hands, chattering and greeting each other. Days when we would participate in meetings, planning organ festivals and other exciting events. This room has been mostly silent for two years, but yesterday morning the chairs seemed eager to welcome people back.
And as they welcome people back, I am slowly and quietly sneaking away. I don’t want to return to crowded rooms with people eager to interrogate me on how I spent my week. I don’t want to have to constantly invent ways to avoid hugs and hand-shakes. It’s so much easier to be in a safe place, alone or with people who understand my need for separation and distance.
Don’t get me wrong — I like people, and I enjoy good conversation, but I need an escape route. I need to have control over how close I get to others. I have appreciated the safety of the Zoom screen. Empty chairs remain inviting, especially as long as they remain empty.
Reflections 