Power of Music

Twelve years ago I had the opportunity to experience many “firsts”. Shortly after my husband died, I joined my daughter and the choir she was singing with on a trip to New York. Here are some of the firsts for me:

• first time in New York City.
• first time walking through (and getting lost in) Harlem.
• first time playing a huge pipe organ located high above the choir.
• first time being assisted by one of the greatest organists in North America.
• first time watching the choir director through video feed while trying to sync with the choir.
• first time playing flawlessly.

I have performed most of my life since the age of 10, playing in recitals, music festivals, churches and later accompanying many choirs and professional musicians. It was almost predictable when performing classical music that I was going to miss something — a note didn’t sound with the proper emphasis, my finger hit a wrong note, syncing with the other musician(s) wasn’t absolutely perfect. In fact from my experience, even though listeners didn’t always hear things going wrong, I could count on it happening.

That Sunday morning, maybe it was because I felt suddenly closer to Michael, whom I missed dearly, or maybe it was the gentle encouragement from the regular organist at St. John the Divine, or maybe it was the fact that I was very focused on supporting the choir. I can’t say, but that day it was the first time in my life, and maybe the last that I knew there was something or someone helping me present a flawless performance.

Usually musicians aim to affect the audience and help them to enjoy the music, feel the music or feel emotion from the music. That performance 12 years ago helped me to understand that I, too could feel the music, even when I was the one playing.