I was reading a news article about a man who died in police custody. They were discussing the future of drunk tanks. This got me thinking back to the time I was in a drunk tank. That was about 17 years ago, or so.
One of my daughters wanted to change her surname back from the surname of her very abusive step-father. One last item on the long list of things she needed to do was to get her finger-prints taken at the police station. We went to the back door, as instructed, and were allowed in….to the drunk tank to sit and wait a few minutes until someone inside was free to take finger prints.
Those few minutes were okay at first, but after a half hour, I was feeling very claustrophobic and decided to leave. Well, the door is locked both from the inside and the outside, and there is a sound barrier between the drunk tank and the front desk. This was long before iPhone access to the internet, so after banging doors for a few minutes, and realizing I could no longer breathe properly because of the panic that had set in, I called my parents to find the non-emergency number for the police station. The person who answered could probably hear the fear and panic in my voice and arranged for someone to let me out, and for my daughter to get her finger-printing done.
They had forgotten us. That experience reinforced the claustrophobia brought about following a very abusive 2nd marriage.
Though the emotions felt during the pandemic have gone up and down like a roller-coaster, there are many things I am thankful for. Last night I listened on YouTube to the high school band concert that 2 of my students were participating in. Partway through the thought came to me that it was wonderful to be able to listen to these students, and not have to be crammed into a large auditorium. And then I started to dread having to go back to attending concerts in person.
I am thankful for the ability during the pandemic to spend so much time alone, and to not have others invading my personal space. I suppose the new fear and hesitation that I will encounter following the “return to normal” will be once again sharing space with others, including concerts and airports, and airplanes.
Reflections 